THE GLORIOUS CHEESE ADVENTURE
by nikayh
Summary: OK this is one of my weirder fan fics. I wrote it when I was high - not really but whatevs - one night and was talking to friends. you won't get unless you're them but anyway.


Once upon a time in a land made of cheese lived Martin Fucking Platt. He was everything anyone could dream of. A soap star, a cheese maker and a Platt twat. He was a perfect human being and won many prom king vote even though he's too old to be attending school but that's OK cause he's a pimp and he loves bitches on his dick.

One day while the sun why high in the sky and looked like a large round piece of cheese, the Platt twat decided to go out to his garden and make some bad ass cheese. Platt made the cheese, his hips swaying in time with his arms as he milled the cow to make the cheese. He worked quickly as he heard a rumour about a girl called Lillian who said she was going to kill all the cows so he could not make his precious cheese. He hoped that his neighbour, a blonde haired, navi-speaker, didn't mind his cheese making.

At last Martin was finished making his special Martin Fucking Platt cheese and wrapped it in a box with a large bow. He was going to go and give it to someone who loved Martin Platt. He knew that wouldn't take long as everyone loved him and his dick.

Plattmeister left his house, his cheese in hand. As he closed the door behind him he got an itch down there he decided to scratch it since nobody was about. Platt turned around, his hand down his jocks and he saw a group of teenage girls calling into his neighbours. He saw an Azn he was sure of it. But her eyes were too large to be Azn eyes, that wasn't racist was it?

He also saw another girl, like a girl that used to be one of his bitches, but she was much too young. She had short blonde hair and was whispering to another girl with long blonde hair. The girl with long blonde hair has a British accent, just like himself. He thought about going over to say hi, she probably knew him after all, he was sOoOoOoOoOoOOo famous after all however he thought he should take his hands out of his jocks before he does anything. As he squinted at the British girl, he noticed the she had the same squint as him. She had the Platt squint. It was Lileh, his long lost daughter.

"Lileh is that you?" He dropped his cheese and ran towards her. The girl sounded stunned, like she didn't know him. Small cheesy years started form. "Lileh it's me! Your dad! It's Martin Platt! Don't you remember me?" his eyes were full of hope and cheese. The girl looked straight passed him and looked at the Azn who was eating some cheese. He ignored the azn and whipped out some cheese from god knows where. "I got you a present." he handed it to his daughter and he noticed a look in her eyes like the people did in movies when they were having a flash back. Platt had to perfect that look many times, he knew it so well. She then took the cheese from him and devoured it.

Suddenly Platt melted into a puddle of cheese from happiness. He heard is daughter cry "Dad, DAD. DON'T LEAVE ME FATHER." She then cried into the puddle of cheese, making Platt quite wet. "blublubblub." he blubbed. What he was trying to say was. "It's OK, I'll be back soon daughter. I just need to be put in a box, preferably a lunch box owned by that blonde fellow next door." next of all he felt the azn lick him. He saw his daughter slap the azn for licking him and he was so proud of his daughter for sticking up for her dad. He then felt himself being picked up by Lileh and he casually chilled in his daughters arms.

They entered the blonde boys home. "Sam, do you have a box or a lunch box I can put my dad into?" she asked. So Sam was his name, nice. But then this stupid Sam boy dropped his bowl of cheese on top of him. Now he was more cheesier than ever. He felt the azn lick him again. Stupid azn. Then his daughter held him in a warm embrace. He smiled in a cheese like way.

After Lileh got a box off the boy, he turned back into a human and hugged his daughter. "This is my house would you like to stay? I am a pimp but won't pimp on you." Lileh shook her head. He shrugged and the two parted. Platt entered his cheese shapped house, to see lots of cheese like things. Suddenly some bitch called Lilian entered his house and tried to burn him alive. She thought he was dead and left the house laughing to herself.

BUT THIS WAS MARTIN FUCKING PLATT SHE TRIED TO KILL. MARTIN FUCKING PLATT IS CHEESUS AND THUS CANNOT BE KILLED. BITCHES DON'T MESS WITH MARTIN FUCKING PLATT. BITCHES ARE ON MARTING FUCKING PLATT'S DICK.


End file.
